4. Wife "Volunteers" You To Help Clean Up City Park

And now another edition of how to be manly. Today lesson number 565. Ahh, at last it's Saturday morning! You have been out of town for the last two weeks so you are looking forward to propping your feet up and watching missed episodes of "Home Improvement" and "Mystery Science Theater 3000" which you had programmed your VCR to record during your absence. Yes, indeed, you are laughing out loud as Crow and Servo are mixing it up with Gypsy when your wife enters the living room and shatters your childlike tranquillity. She says that she forgot to tell you that she had signed you both up to join in on the City Park Citizen's Volunteer Cleanup scheduled for today. She tells you to turn off the TV and get ready to go. At first you try to resist but when she threatens not to play "let's wear leather and play whap the weenie" for the next month, you readily agree to go along. So, twenty minutes later, there you are in the city park with a bunch of other husbands who didn't want to be there. As you and your wife are crawling through the brush picking up litter you have had it and you want to let her know how you feel but how can this be accomplished in a manly manner? Follow along in your manly manual, page 556, and repeat after me:

  1. Wow! Surrounded by a bunch of people doing manual labor for free, huh? I guess I finally found a place where I'm safe from your brother.

  2. Ow! I keep getting my shirt caught on your mom. I mean this dried up, withered old bush!

  3. Man alive! I haven't seen this many used condoms laying around in one place since that time I hid under your little sister's bed--when your dad visited!

Use any of the above phrases in just such a situation and later, when the park volunteers report back that they are finding dismembered male body parts, you can rest assured that your wife will have no doubts as to what kind of man you really are. Until next time, this is Mr. Manly saying be manly and good day.


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Published By:
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Copyright(C) 1995 Mr. Manly (R) Productions, Inc.

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