6. Female Co-Worker Graduates

And now another edition of how to be manly. Today lesson number 1470. Boy, now you have really been humiliated. You are a forklift operator at warehouse number sixteen at the cement plant. You have been in the same position for five years. You work in this particular warehouse with twelve men and one part-time, very attractive young woman. It seems that this young woman has been working part-time for the last four years because she has been putting her self through college to earn a degree in engineering. Well, graduation is just around the corner and she will soon be leaving her job to pursue a career in a more challenging field. "Good riddance," you say to yourself. You say this because she has a most charming personality and has been extremely cordial to everyone in the warehouse for the last four years. Everyone that is except you! You've never been able to understand why, either. You offered her rides in your 1973 primer gray Trans-Am, you've tried to entertain her with Manly Stories from your Manly Past, you've even tried to impress her by showing her how you can hit a cockroach across the room with a mouthful of tobacco juice but to no avail. She is now hugging and saying good-bye to all of the guys in the warehouse before she finally, and reluctantly, makes her way over to you. She shakes your hand meekly, says good bye and then starts to walk away. You want to let her know how you feel about her graduating and leaving but how can this be accomplished in a manly manner? Follow along in your manly manual, page 1467, and repeat after me:

1. Shoo wee momma! If your professors know you as well as the guys in the warehouse I can sure see why you graduated come loudly.--I mean cum laude! Cum laude!

2. So, I see you finally got your sheepskin. Well, great! just great! Now what are us guys supposed to do with all these left over lambskins?!

3. An engineering degree, eh? Man, you oughta be able to land a pretty good job with the railroad--seeing as how many trains you've pulled around here!

Use any of the above phrases in just such a situation and minutes later when you wish the young lady had received a degree in medicine, when every guy in the warehouse takes turns working you over with pipe wrenches, you can rest assured that she will have no doubts as to what kind of man you really are. Until next time, this is Mr. Manly saying be manly and good day.

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Published By:
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Copyright(C) 1995 Mr. Manly (R) Productions, Inc.

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