61. Your Date Eats Crawfish

And now another edition of how to be manly. Today lesson 9154. Boy howdy, it surely is true; all good things come to he who waits! What am I talking about? I'm talking about a fantasy of yours that has come true. It seems that the blonde bombshell in accounting, Trixie, has asked YOU out for a dinner date. Holy guacamole and Terra Haute, Indiana, what did you do right to deserve this?! And to make matters even more delightful, Trixie has agreed to pick you up in her Corvette, and is even going to allow you to drive.It is all you can do to keep your knees from buckling! Finally, the anxiously-awaited night arrives and Trixie rings your doorbell. When you open it, you see that she is dressed in one of the slinkiest and sexiest evening gowns you have ever seen."I've died and gone straight to heaven!" you say to yourself. True to her word, Trixie hands you the keys to her 1994 red Corvette. Ahh, you are the very image of manliness now! After a while, she instructs you to take a left into a restaurant parking lot and park the car. When the two of you walk into the restaurant, what you see nearly causes you to cyber vomit. It seems that Trixie has taken you to a, how can I even say it without spewing, a Cajun restaurant. You have always felt that Cajun food consisted of any animal that was dumb enough to stand still when a cook walked by. The spices used in the cooking are hideous, to say the least, but you keep these thoughts to yourself. At the table, Trixie orders a heaping plate of crawfish. Taking the shell off and pulling off the legs make you feel like you're handling cockroaches the size of golf balls. What happens next is simply unbelievable; Trixie explains that you're supposed to rip the head off and suck out the brains and then eat the tail. As she demonstrates this technique, you've decided that enough is enough, and you want to let her know how you feel about this particular situation, but how can this be accomplished in a manly manner? Follow along in your Manly Manual, page 9152, and repeat after me:

1. Suck the head and eat the tail? Well, I was hoping that we would be doing a little of that tonight, but not in a restaurant!

2. I guess it's only fair that you give me crawfish - since your mother gave me crabs!

3. Now that you've shown me how you eat crawfish, let's go back to your place and I'll show you how I can eat a red snapper!

Use any of the above phrases in just such a situation, and a split second later, when you are flopping and flailing all over the floor, screaming in pain and clutching your eyes after a cup of extra-spicy, Cajun-hot-pepper sauce is thrown in your face, you can rest assured that Trixie will have no doubts as to what kind of man you really are.

Until next time, this is Mr. Manly saying 'be manly, and good day'.

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Published By:
Mr. Manly(R) Productions, Inc.
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Copyright(C) 1995 Mr. Manly (R) Productions, Inc.

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