48. Your Dog Bites A Fat Lady

And now another edition of how to be manly. Today lesson number 6358. Ahh, what joy! It's a beautiful fall Sunday afternoon. It is a sunshiny, cool, crisp day and what better time is there to go for a romp in the park with your manly German Shepherd, Baxter? Yes indeed, the two of you are the very image of contentment as you both are enjoying a great game of fetch. Baxter is running all over the place barking and carrying on in his excitement. Suddenly, an extremely large lady comes walking down the trail towards the two of you. Baxter, being the friendly dog that he is, goes up to the lady to say hi. He is trying to greet her by licking at her hands. The lady screams at him to go away but Baxter is just too friendly. Then suddenly, before you know it, this behemoth rips off her leather belt and starts beating on your dog. You immediately start to run toward her when good ol' Baxter can take no more and he fiercely bites the woman on her rear end. Now she's really upset and you see a rather large lawsuit looming in your future. You put Baxter back on his leash and try to apologize profusely but the fat lady will have none of it. She starts to call you and your dog all sorts of unmentionable names. You try to explain to her that if she hadn't started beating on him none of this would have happened but she insists on getting your name so that she can report you to the authorities. Finally, you've had enough and you want to let this walking Titanic know how you feel but how can this be accomplished in a manly manner? Follow along in your manly manual, page 6349, and repeat after me:

1. Bit you in the butt, huh? Great! just great! now I'll have to take him to the vet to get vaccinated for obnoxious bithcus fat assus!

2. Well, a huge fat pig on my father's farm bit him when he was a puppy and I guess he's been waiting all these years to bite one back!

3. Bad dog, Baxter! Bad dog! You know rancid old cow meat makes you vomit!

Use any of the above phrases in just such a situation and later when you are living with Baxter in his dog house, because that's all you have left after the lawsuit, you can rest assured that the lady in the park will have no doubts as to what kind of man you really are. Until next time, this is Mr. Manly saying be manly and good day.

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Published By:
Mr. Manly(R) Productions, Inc.
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Copyright(C) 1995 Mr. Manly (R) Productions, Inc.

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