74. The Female Co-Worker Is Late Again

And now another edition of how to be manly. Today lesson number 4286. Damn! She's done it again! There you are, the shift supervisor in the main warehouse down at the cement plant. You are proud of your accomplishments here. After all, you not only have the respect of all of your employees but you also keep the whole place running like a well-oiled machine. However, there happens to be just one fly in the ointment. One of your best forklift operators, Linda, is late for work--again! This has become a troublesome habit of hers. It has been growing in frequency and it simply has to stop. This time you are going to let Linda have it with both barrels. Finally, forty-five minutes after her scheduled start time, Linda walks in the door and punches her time card and then walks past you like there's nothing wrong. You call her back whereupon you start reading her the riot act. She says that she overslept and she's sorry and you tell her sorry don't feed the bulldog and on and on and back and forth the two of you go until you can see that you are not getting through to her. Finally, you decide that a dose of your manliness might clarify the situation for her but how can you assert yourself in a manly manner? Follow along in your manly manual, page 4284, and repeat after me:

1. Wait, let me guess, your alarm buzzer went off and you fell back asleep and dreamed that it was the world's largest vibrator, right?

2. Look, I'm getting fed up! The last time I told the guys in the warehouse you were late half of them ran to their cars and drove out of the state!

3. Listen, Cutie, I want you to start driving to work the same way you have sex with your boyfriend--lickety split!

Use any of the above phrases in just such a situation and later when you try to explain to the insurance adjuster just how the tongues of a fork lift mysteriously pierced the driver-side door of your brand new Trans Am, you can rest assured that Linda will have no doubts as to what kind of man you really are. Until next time, this is Mr. Manly saying be manly and good day.

To order call: 1-800-MR-MANLY

Published By:
Mr. Manly(R) Productions, Inc.
Austin, Texas
Copyright(C) 1995 Mr. Manly (R) Productions, Inc.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, transformed or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.