5. Your Boss' Ugly Daughter

And now another edition of how to be manly. Today lesson number 1958. You have been a good office worker. You started out as an errand boy and have now worked your way up to a junior executive position. The company boss has taken notice of you and often compliments you on your work. Yes, indeed, you are beaming with manly pride. Finally, one morning your boss steps into your office and he informs you that his twenty-one year old daughter is home from college for spring break and he wonders if you might like to join them for lunch that afternoon. Seeing an excellent opportunity to kiss the boss' butt and also perhaps, shall we say, score later on with his young daughter, you readily agree to go along. Your boss takes you to one of the finest restaurants in town where his daughter is waiting for the two of you. He sees his daughter sitting in a brightly lit corner table. As you approach the table and sit down it is all you can do to keep from fainting. It seems that your boss' daughter is, to put it mildly, perhaps one of the most unattractive women you have ever seen. "Good lord!" you say to yourself, "whatever could he have been thinking?" But being a gentleman and an excellent butt kisser, you maintain a polite attitude throughout the meal as you gag down your food. When you get back to your office you immediately call your friend Larry on the 44th floor to tell him all about it. Larry wants to know what the boss' daughter looked like but how can you describe her to him in a manly manner? Follow along in your manly manual, page 1954, and repeat after me:

1. Well, when I told the waiter I needed a doggy bag he pointed at her and said, "Hey, guy, you already have one!

2. Man, it took forever to walk from the restaurant to the car! She kept stopping to sniff around the fire hydrants!

3. Tell ya' what, let me go xerox my butt and fax it to ya', that'll give you the idea!

Use any of the above phrases in just such a situation and when you are amazed to discover that you are able to inhale every single molecule of oxygen in the room, when you turn around and see that your boss has been standing right behind you the whole time, and Larry on the other end hears what sounds like the phone being shoved down your throat, you can rest assured that your boss will have no doubts as to what kind of unemployed man you really are. Until next time, this is Mr. Manly saying be manly and good day.

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Published By:
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Copyright(C) 1995 Mr. Manly (R) Productions, Inc.

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