76. At the Yacht Club

And now another edition of how to be manly. Today lesson number 7126. We-he-hell! If your ship hasn't finally arrived! It seems that, after years of hard work, you have reached an income level where you can finally enjoy some of the things in life that you had previously only been able to dream about. And one of those things was to march on down and join the yacht club. You then turned around and bought yourself a brand new fifty-two foot Catalina sailing yacht. Yes sir, there's no doubt about it--you have finally arrived! Then last night, you decided to go to the club's highly prestigious cocktail lounge to have few drinks and introduce yourself. around. While at the bar, you spy a most highly attractive brunette sitting around a table with some of her girlfriends. "Shoo-wee momma," you say to yourself, "She sure makes my main mast rise!" You desperately want to introduce yourself to her but you haven't the nerve. Well, that's nothing that twelve bourbon and cokes can't fix. So, after the alcohol overdose has caused all civility and common sense to go fleeing from your head, you stumble your way over to her table to introduce yourself. But how can you accomplish this in a manly manner? Well, follow along in your manly manual, page 7113, and repeat after me: (Note: Do your best drunk impression again!)

1. Shoo-wee momma! Let's go to your place and play of game of "The Whaler." You be the whale and see if you can make me scream "thar she blows!"

2. Say, sweet cakes, I got some wood oil on my boat. how'd you like to come over and help me polish my DECK?!

3. The guys in the club tell me that they call you the "Titanic." You go down your first time out!

Use any of the above phrases in just such a situation and five o'clock the next morning when you get a call from the head of the yacht club security force telling you that you brand new sailing yacht is now resting on the bottom of the marina, after a mysterious on-board explosion, you can rest assured that the young lady and her friends will have no doubts as to what kind of man you really are. Until next time, this is Mr. Manly saying be manly and good day.

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Published By:
Mr. Manly(R) Productions, Inc.
Austin, Texas
Copyright(C) 1995 Mr. Manly (R) Productions, Inc.

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