Attitude is
 A Droplet of
 Anti Poetry
volume 2
of the Heart
 I'll See You When
I Get There
 In Nowhere
 It Doesn't
Interest Me
 Letting Go Is
Hard To Do
 Life Is A
 Love Remains
 The Most Beautiful
 Play #4
 Reflections of
a Mother
 The Valley of
 White Cotton &
 Pink Ribbon
 With Friends
Like Me
 A Musical
 Appearances of The Heart

Appearances of the heart..............

Wondering down the mall, peering in all the windows...All the shops seem busy. Every one looking for that bargain. Competing for the best quality for the lesser price. Watching all the other ladies shopping for the perfect pair of earrings to match their new outfit. Trying on shoes that are uncomfortable, but need to have them as they match the color and styles of today's trends. As we stroll past the beauty shop, seeing the line waiting for their turn in the chairs.......Having to beautify themselves. Feeling a need for looking their best. Outward appearance being such a quality, such a value, such a mortal formality in todays world.

Strolling by a gift shop, I can see everyone passing by, not entering, and looking down as the pass. Leaving the entry to the shop with a foul look on their faces. My curiousity arroused, I approach the entrance to the store. As I get near, I notice a strange aroma around the entrance, is foul and getting strong the closer I get to the door. I look down in the direction of the scent, and see a burlap sack, torn open on one end, tied shut with a piece of broken twine at the top. Is very dirty and ragged, can see the mold spores all over the bag.

Looking up, looking around, seeing if people are gazing at my meek attraction to this thing. Not really wanting anyone to notice that I am paying attention to this object. Wondering what they would think of me, if they truely knew my curiousity. I can tell from a distance that something is in the bag and totally curious as to what it contains. In an attempt to get closer to the bag, I bend down. The smell is so strong, is over powering everything I have put on myself, my cologne is totally phased out by the reek of this thing. Picking up the bag, holding it as far away from me as possible, I begin to head for the exit of the shopping center. All the people that I approach walk to the far side of me, as the bag is so appauling. They were all staring at me, as I carried this discusting thing in my hand. Taking it to my car, afraid to even open the ties, I place it in the trunk and head for home. Throughout the drive I think to myself why I picked up such an object in the first place, not having any idea what it contains. I just knew that it was appauling to all others, but arroused my curiousity, I had to have it with me, I had to know what it was.

As I pull into my driveway, am greeted by my husband, quick kiss to welcome me home, and a how was my day. My eyes light up, "you should see what I found!" As we get close to the back of my car, the smell from the bag is seeping from the trunk into the air around us. Before I can even put the key in the lock, he is inquiring as to what it is. When I open the trunk, the stench from the bag is overpowering. We both turn our heads away for a breath. He immediately grabs the bag and flings it into the alley, burying it amongst the weeds that cover the grounds. Feeling betrayed, I hang my head and walk away. I still did not know what the bag contained, but in seeing my husbands reaction, I knew better then to attempt now.

That night, and for the next several days after, the rains poured from the sky. I would peer from my laundry room window, out to where the burlap bag layed, still wonder. Wonder what it incased, what stories it would have told. What was in that bag?

I still, even after the years have past by, wish I would have opened that bag. I remember going to the fence line several times, seeing the corners of it peeking from the dirt that now covers it. All I know now is that along that same exact fence line is the most beautiful climber full of teacup red roses I have ever seen in my life. There colors so powerful, the greens so lavish, the red so deep and glorious. They began to bloom the following year and have been abundantly spreading ever since. I baby those roses now, nurture them every season. Understand that they are like so many people in this world, that may not have the material things that tend to make us seem more publically presentable on the outside. The cosmetics of mortal man, the jewels of the wealthy, the wardrobe of the sheiks, and the bodies of the models of the world. For now I understand that it is not what the outward apprearance seems to be at all. Is the beauty within, and the ability to give and share that beauty that is
so abundant. Is not the outside shell we should judge. Knowing that our hearts are what is loved and nourished. Knowing that when our time comes that shell does not go with us. Is not the body that God wants, is our hearts, our spirits, our souls and above all our love. Loving someone, caring for them is what brings out the beauty inside of all of us. The burlap on the outside does not show the beauty of the heart that it incases.


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Created 7/20/97.... last updated 08/27/00\thelodge